Frequently Unasked Questions (FUQ)
12 August 2020 | BY ANDJELKA JANKOVIC | Life
Too forward, too fine, too patient, too wise, now look at you shine
1. What do you hope greets you at heaven’s door?
A tray of warm cinnamon scrolls with Justin Vernon playing an acoustic set and every cat I’ve ever loved running towards me.
2. What is the best thing you have ever overheard?
‘Do the next right thing’ at a cafe in Sedona, Arizona. Also “all my needs have been met” at a farmers market in Santa Barbara.
3. Your biggest karaoke fail?
Africa by Toto in an Athens karaoke bar – there are definitely two extra syllables in the chorus that I didn’t know about until I was singing it to a room full of unimpressed Greeks.
4. What fascinates you to no end?
Dreams, sex dreams, the perfect potato to salt ratio, how the postal service actually works, the mystery of attraction, the universe.
5. Is there anything that people would find surprising about you?
I have a seemingly bottomless reserve of blind faith and almost every Ed Sheeran song can make me cry.
6. A fun fact about yourself that no one really cares about?
I am told my name means ‘apricot tree jewel fruit’ in Japanese!
7. Which childhood game misled you about how adult life would be?
8. The best song to play when stuck in a traffic jam?
Walking In Memphis, every time.
9. Confound me?
I hate being cold and I love winter.
10. Which film would you make devoted to an entire subject matter?
How people actually meet – synchronicity.
11. What is the last compliment you received?
“You are such a textured person” (so feel that).
12. What is the nicest thing no one has ever said to you?
“You’ve really grown into your face”
13. Your weakness?
Striking blue eyes.
14. Your strength?
15. How do you dress your potatoes?
Doused in salt and dipped in both the essential condiments of ketchup and mustard and if I’m on a road trip, vinegar is a must.
16. What do you always have time for?
Silent clocks. Fries (see above). Kindness. Any street cat.
17. What do you never have time for?
Perpetual beeping. Cruelty of any kind. Itchy clothing tags. Bloating.
18. Tea or coffee?
Tea, tea, tea. Don’t get me wrong, I love the taste and smell of coffee but it gives me major heart palpitations and yet tiramisu is still my favourite dessert.
18. Jasmine or basmati?
They’re basically the same EXCEPT THEY ARE NOT. Basmati cooks into a softer and more slender rice grain, and plus is much more fun to say.
19. Avocado or guacamole?
I see what you did there, brilliant.
20. Which film do you want to live in?
Terrific question. As a child of the 90s, I would have said The Mighty Ducks and in my university days it would have been Garden State and now I would say anyone set in a cabin in the woods with a crackling fire and a purring cat on my lap.
21. Which line of poetry do you want to live in?
We would be together and have our books, and at night be warm in bed together with the windows open and the stars bright. – Ernest Hemingway
22. Which album cover do you want to live in?
Carole King’s Tapestry.
23. Any clue what Meatloaf wouldn’t do for love?
I suspect it has something to do with sleeping in the same bed as a snorer.
24. How do you let someone know you like them?
A playlist that says: I wouldn’t dare tell you how I really feel so here’s a bunch of carefully curated songs to tell you exactly that.
25. What were your career aspirations as a child?
To be a professional gift wrapper and wear a Christmas jumper for a living.
26. What is something very irritating about you?
I become a subject matter expert immediately after watching any documentary.
27. Got a life motto?
Always pack snacks, trust me.
28. What are the three most beautiful words in the English language?
Breakfast is ready.
29. What is quintessential to you?
A basket, I’m never without mine.
30. Tell me about a time that you cried until you couldn’t breathe anymore?
On Mother’s Day, in a morning tea meditation when I realised a lot of people around the world would be waking up without their mum and I was so grateful to have mine.
31. What would you like to see make a comeback?
People asking each other out in real life. The walking date. Friendship first.
32. What brings you joy?
Lungs full of fresh mountain air. Rustic kitchens. The smell of woodfire.
33. What keeps you brave?
Knowing that courage is always rewarded.
34. What keeps you sane?
Music. Friendship. Sleep. Reading.
35. What keeps you free?
Possibility and poetry, always.
I stalked her in the grocery store: her crown
of snowy braids held in place by a great silver clip,
her erect bearing, radiating tenderness,
watching the way she placed yogurt and avocados
in her basket,
beaming peace like the North Star.
I wanted to ask, “What aisle did you find your serenity in,
do you know how to be married for fifty years
or how to live alone,
excuse me for interrupting, but you seem to
possess some knowledge that makes the earth turn
and burn on its axis” —
But we don’t request such things from strangers
nowadays. So I said, “I love your hair.”
― I Confess, by Alison Luterman
I may have just fallen in love with your mind! These Q’s and A’s were both giggle-inducers and warm gooey feelings in my heart, realising that I am not alone in many of the things. 🤍
I’m so glad to read this! Much love Lara x
Thank you! And next on my list: make apricot jam with Maureen.
Excellent you always have a way with beautiful words, I really enjoy your emails. So does Mum but I don’t know if she can receive these as she’s not on Facebook. So we share.